Welcome to part two of my long rant about the Tab, if you missed part one you can find it here.
This part will probably be a fair bit shorter than the first, just a heads up, so let’s get right into it.
So in this part I’ll be discussing examples of the two other main elements of why the Tab isn’t very good, to put it mildly. These are: the overly self-important authors who write terrible ‘opinion articles’ and the Buzzfeed-style ‘listicles’ and quizzes.
This article is literally the author (Bob Palmer, who is the #1 read author on the Tab this month) ragging on ‘negroni’, a cocktail that’s recently become very popular, for a whole 723 words (yes, I counted). Let me repeat that, this man has written a whole article about a drink he’s not particularly fond of. What even. Palmer’s point is that he doubts whether people really enjoy it because he doesn’t like it. That is the whole point. Seriously.
I can’t even construct a proper sentence to describe how silly this is. Has Mr. Palmer ever considered that perhaps different people have a different palate to him? I’m not particularly fond of beer, but I’m not going to write hundreds of words detailing why everyone else is wrong for enjoying it.
Palmer goes on to say how it’s the bartenders’ fault that people drink Negroni, claiming that there’s some sort of pressure to enjoy it. Is he serious? If you’ve not got the balls to just go up to the bar and order what you actually want, rather than be ‘pressured’ to drink something you don’t like, then you probably shouldn’t be allowed to drink alcohol you big pansy. He also states that ‘personal preference comes second’ when people choose their drink in this case, wanting to be stylish and buy a Negroni. However, he then later goes on to say that the ‘majority of people here are happy to part with their hard-earned money’ for one. Well then, obviously personal preference isn’t coming second. You mug.
That’s enough of that, now let’s move into the laziest rubbish the Tab has to offer, ‘listicles’ and the sort, and this is the easiest stuff to take the mick out of. Why’s that? Because I don’t even need to say anything, I just need to tell you the names of some of these shite pieces of work:
- “Which emoji is your uni?”
- “QUIZ: How obsessed with ASOS are you?”
- “Which Harry Potter character is your uni?”
- “QUIZ: How vain are you?” (Very, if you work for the Tab)
- “What trainers should you be wearing?”
- And many, many more…
I could go on and dissect so many more articles from this…thing (I hesitate to call it a news site) but I can’t really be bothered. The Tab attempts to be a jack of all trades, but it really is a master of none. Outdated news, irrelevant ‘news’, terrible attempts at opinion articles, and crap Buzzfeed rubbish. It’s very hard to take them seriously.
However, there are some good articles on the Tab, which is a shame because you have to really look for them. These cover vitally important issues for students including, but not limited to: mental health (there are quite a few on that subject), opinions on things that aren’t completely meaningless, and controversies within the student population (that maybe would not be covered to the same extent in mainstream news). If only there was some way to filter out all the crap, eh? Shame. Maybe the chief staff will realise soon that most of their content is garbage and try to promote what good stuff there is. Probably not though, as they’ll be busy sticking their own heads up their arses.
I’ll try and talk about something a bit more light-hearted and less rant-y next time, because I could imagine constant rants getting tiring after a while.
Until next time, adiós.